Articles Index/Humor
Posted 07/06/05

From the Internet . . .
IF I DIDN'T HAVE DOGS . . .

• I could walk around safely barefoot in the dark
• My house could be carpeted instead of tiled and laminated
• All flat surfaces, clothing, furniture, and cars would be free of dog hair
• When the doorbell rang, it wouldn't sound like the SPCA kennels
• When the doorbell rang, I could get to the door without wading through four or five dogs bodies who beat me there
• I could sit how I wanted to on the couch without taking into consideration where several little fur bodies would need to get
• I would not have strange presents under my tree like dog bones and stuffed animals and have to answer to people why I wrap them up
• I would not be on a first name basis with a vet
• Most used words in my vocabulary would not be: potty, outside, sit, down, come, no, and leave him/her ALONE
• My house would not be cordoned off into zones with baby gates
• My purse would not contain things like poop bags and dog treats
• I would not have as many leaves INSIDE my house as outside
• I would no longer have to spell the words F-R-I-S-B-E-E and B-A-L-L
• I would not buy weird things to stuff into "kongs", or have to explain why I'm buying them, or what a "kong" is
• I would not look strangely at people who think having their ONE dog ties them down too much
• I would not have to answer the question why do I have so many dogs from people who will never have the joy in their life of knowing they are loved unconditionally by something as close to an angel as they will ever meet.

Author unknown
ANTIC, March, 2005

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