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Posted 05/20/04

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How To Know That Martha Stewart Is Stalking Your Dog ...

10. There's potpourri hanging from his/her collar

9. Dog's nails have been cut with pinking shears

8. The dog toys are all stored in McCoy crocks

7. The pooper scooper has been decorated with raffia bows

6. That telltale lemon slice in the new silver water bowl

5. You find liver and whole wheat dog treats stamped out with copper cookie cutters and decorated with royal icing using a #2 rosette tip

4. Dog hair has been collected and put into wire baskets for nesting material for the birds

3. A seasonally appropriate grapevine wreath adorns the front of your dog's crate

2. Your dog goes outside naked and comes in wearing a thyme colored virgin wool hand knitted sweater with matching boots

And the number one way to know that Martha Stewart is stalking your dog

1. The dog droppings in your backyard have have been sculpted into swans.

Author unknown
March, 2004

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