You know you are owned by a dog when ...
You have a mental list of people you would like to spay or neuter
Running out of paper towels is a household crisis
You stick fake reindeer antlers on the dog and photograph him for your Christmas cards
Your checks show a dog
You pray they will someday manufacture Teflon furniture
You absentmindedly pat people on the head or scratch them behind their ears
You not only allow dogs on the couch, guests have to sit on the floor because the dog has "territorial issues"
You and your vet are on a first name basis and the telephone number of the veterinary clinic is on speed dial
You tell your children to "heel!" in the grocery store
You know all the characteristics of a "good stool"
ANTIC, September, 2006
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